This Is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz

This_Is_How_You_Lose_Her

She is right in front of you

Just how much ass can you tap in 244 pages of literary fiction?  Pulitzer Prize winner Junot Diaz is on a mission to find out in his new National Book Award / GoodReads Choice Award nominated collection This Is How You Lose Her.  It’s like sexersizing your brain with words instead of images!  Literary gold!

The Sun, The Moon, The Stars

The one in which Yunior’s steady asstap Magda finds out that he’s been cheating on her with a chick that has tons of “freestyle 80s hair” and then goes on vacation with him anyway only to break up with him in the end.

Nilda

“Man, he muttered, she’s so fine I’d lick her asshole…” OR, the one in which twenty three year-old Yunior pines for his brother Rafa’s girl Nilda and spends his summer nights listening to the happy couple make sweet love in their shared bedroom.

Alma

The one that’s told in second person so it’s even more sexy because _YOU_ are Yunior and you’re tapping a hot number named Alma who has a “big Dominican ass that seems to exist in a fourth dimension beyond jeans” while at the same time, unbeknownst to her, you’re also tapping the ass of a freshman chick named Laxmi.

Otravida, Otravez

The one in which a female hospital laundry worker lets a man named Ramon tap her ass and buy her a home of their very own and even knock her ass up, even though she knows that he’s secretly been in contact with his estranged wife the entire time they’ve been together.

Flaca

The one in which Yunior recalls tapping the ass of Flaca, the chick with the drifting left eye that he wasn’t really all that into, but heck, she owned her own Honda Civic, and she possessed a tappable ass, the winningest of all combinations, so why not go for it, right?

The Pura Principle

The one in which Yunior recalls his brother Rafa tapping some mad ass before eventually settling down and getting married just before dying of cancer, leaving behind a widow that would attempt to extort money from the family to pay for supposed debts.

Invierno

The one in which Yunior and Rafa are children that have just arrived in America with their parents and no one is allowed out of the house for months on end except their Papi, who obviously needs to leave so that he can find some ass to tap that isn’t attached to his wife.  DUH!

Miss Lora

  1. “I’d fuck her.”
  2. “Your brother.”
  3. “… the bombs were always going off, evaporating you while you walked, while you ate a chicken wing, while you took the bus to school, while you fucked Paloma.”
  4. “Bitch made Iggy Pop look chub…”
  5. “I’m sweaty, you protest.”
  6. “Tú te metiste por su culo.”
  7. “That night you are allowed to touch Paloma’s clit with the tip of your tongue…”
  8. “And just before she pops your rabo in her mouth she says: Really?”
  9. “…your father used to take you on his pussy runs…”
  10. “You just come inside her.”
  11. “…even though she is falling asleep she lets you bone her straight in the ass…”
  12. “She probably does strap it on.”
  13. “…show up at Miss Lora’s door with your dick in your hand.”
  14. “They should arrest her ass today.”
  15. “Both of you are smiling.”

The Cheater’s Guide to Love

The one in which an older (wiser?) Yunior, whose health is failing, looks back on all the ass he tapped and regrets the one asstap that got away because he was too busy chasing other asses to tap at the time to realize that he had found his one true soul-ass-tap-mate that trumped the tappability of all other assses in at least a five mile radius.  Oh to have lived a life filled with such regret!


This_Is_How_You_Lose_Her ★★½☆☆
This Is How You Lose Her
By Junot Díaz
Riverhead Books
2012
Hardcover
244 Pages
ISBN 9781594487361
$26.95


About Aaron Westerman

Aaron Westerman is the Manager of Web Architecture for a national human services organization. When he's not busy tearing sites apart and rebuilding them, he spends his ever shrinking free time trying to keep up with his twins, reading works of translated literature, and watching far too many Oscar nominated movies.